Communicating with a loved one with dementia

Learning that someone has dementia can be difficult. Feelings of uncertainty are natural and you may need time to accept the diagnosis. Being proactive to understand the disease is important to care for and communicate with your loved one. 

Dementia describes the symptoms someone experiences from diseases that result from abnormal changes in the brain. These include memory loss, reasoning, language, problem-solving and other cognitive abilities that hinder daily activities and independence.  

Types of dementia 

Alzheimer's disease is the most common form of dementia. Other types include frontotemporal, Huntington’s, Lewy Body and vascular. Some people also experience simultaneous forms, called mixed dementia. 

Of the over 7 million Americans living with Alzheimer’s, an estimated 200,000 under 65 have younger-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Although age is known to be a cause, a common misconception is that Alzheimer’s is a natural part of aging. The National Institute on Aging says that many people in their 90s live without any dementia symptoms.  

Although there isn’t a specific test, doctors diagnose the disease through exams, brain scans, blood tests and reviewing medical history.  

Communication changes 

Interacting with a loved one is challenging as the disease progressively affects their communication. The Alzheimer’s Association outlines communication challenges to expect, including: 

With symptoms impacting a person’s behavior, feelings and relationships, this adds emotional challenges for families. Sensory concerns may make conversations difficult. Set reminders to stay updated with medical specialists as updated glasses or needed hearing aids can help their communication.   

Family Caregiver Alliance outlines strategies to help communication throughout stages of the disease. 

Nonverbal cues 

Maintaining a positive mood, voice, expressions and posture can help your loved one relax. Concentrating on nonverbals and understanding their feelings may be more valuable than words. As the disease advances, they might better understand gestures like smiling and pointing. 
 

Offering options 

Help eliminate decision frustration by offering choices. Instead of asking "What would you like to drink,” you could say, “Would you like coffee or tea for breakfast?” 
 

Keeping focus  

Be a good listener. Conversations should be simple, covering one subject at a time. Provide eye contact and eliminate distractions such as the TV or other conversations.